Oh, it's been so so long since I've done something like this. It's good to be back into doing these. I know there's no site at this current moment, but I just got to talk about my experience!
So to start, my history with the files. I started off very early in the Google doc days right around the time the version 3 files were just starting to appear in 2013. (Goodness gracious it's been so long!) At the time, I was thinking about starting the Fluttershy file since I related to a lot with her due to my shyness at the time, but I kept looking at the Twilight file and it seemed to call out for me. I thought since at the time I was struggling through my classes I could see the benefit of wanting to perform academically better, and with that I have! Through that moment I've gone through the whole process of documenting my whole progress (and oh, did I make sure to document *everything*).
With that being said, after around half the year, I noticed that the files seemed to have less and less an effect on me. It was saddening and yet exhausting as I was trying to look forward to that feeling of starting out the files for the first time, but nothing I attempted for years seemed to do just that.
Fast forward to roughly a week ago. At this point, physical effects I had pretty much covered; I could "pony-up" at just about any moment that I wished (I believe this was called "permapone" back in the day). While randomly browsing YouTube, I stumbled across the pony files a nice pony had uploaded.
At first I wanted to listen to the Twilight file again, but I noticed the Rarity file recommended on the side. I thought about it for a short while. I knew about the risks of EKP, especially as I have experienced that personally (*not* fun), though I have since learned much more about how my mind works.
In preparation, I told myself if I end up in any sort of stressful situation I would immediately detrigger myself and I made perfectly clear instructions in my head of my state of mind while triggered vs when I am not. I also did a quick brush through of my head to find any remnants of any previous files to find they've either absorbed into in own personality or disappated elsewhere. Just to make absolutely certain I wanted to venture this path, I slept on it for the night to see if that same desire would show the next morning.
Well, that will be all for this entry for today. I did not expect this to be long so I'll have a part 2 ready for tomorrow. I hope you have enjoyed this small introduction and you have a wonderful day!
Even as you find yourself, there is always potential to discover even more...
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- Posts: 17
- Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2019 1:23 pm
- Location: Outskirts of Canerlot. Or Ponyville. Depends on context.
- Pony: Bright Star / Rarity
- Title: Fashionably Fashionable